Finding Her Page 9

  "Are you serious?" Gloria scrunched up her nose at the notion and almost laughed.

  "Very. When they pray, they are taken to the sweat lodge and they pray and wait for the signs. She more than likely was in a trance for a while. That's why she is so weak. It takes a lot of their energy from them. They have visions and the spirits visit them."

  "You don't really believe all that, do you?" Gloria laughed.

  Aiden saw the woman that was cooking, he saw her frown and he shook his head as he whirled around at Gloria. "I wouldn't laugh if I were you. They take this very seriously. For them even to consider letting you have your child back is a miracle in itself. Especially after what Custer did to them. What Lucy has done for you, you cannot imagine. Any woman coming here by herself would have been immediately killed. If she has convinced them, you better thank God for her. Never mock what you know nothing about."

  "But–"

  "Gloria, shut up." Mr. Winters instructed.

  She sent her husband an acid frown.

  "How can they not give me my child back?" Gloria asked her voice going soft and tearful. "I've come so far, risked so much. I won't leave here without her."

  "Even if she doesn't want to go?" Aiden asked with a raised brow.

  "How could she not want to go? I'm her mother!"

  "She is loved and cared for here and a month is a long time at her age. Children don't understand time." Aiden told her. "Don't get your hopes up too much, it's up to Peggy whether you succeed in taking her out of here. Peggy and Lucy."

  "But she's my child. I came after her!"

  "She's three years old. How much will she realize, when they have cared for her too?"

  Gloria felt the tears fall and she shook her head. "She'll go with me. I know she will."

  "For your sake, I hope so." Aiden told her, then after eating, he went to be with Lucy.

  When she woke up, he smiled down at her. "How are you feeling?"

  "Okay, I guess. How long have I been asleep?"

  "Couple of hours."

  "I am hungry," she admitted sitting up.

  But the Indian woman came and handed her a bowl of food. She smiled at her and took it.

  She ate every bite of it. "It was good," she told the woman in Sioux language and thanked her.

  A warrior came in and saw Angus and told him they would speak of trades. Angus left with him. Pumpkin followed behind him.

  Gloria wrung her hands and tried to sleep but she tossed and turned all night long. It was a very long night for them all.

  Chapter Eight

  Woodsmoke permeated the air. A flute played in the distance. The sky was very blue this morning. There was a lot of goings on in the camp. Lucy drank the coffee that Aiden fixed for her and she went to look outside. She stood at the door, watching the people, letting the calm settle over her. She pulled the blanket around her now as the temperature was extremely cold. She reflected on how the meeting with the chief went and the trial that Gloria would have to face today. It was a beautiful day, even with the snow so thick on the ground. The sun was shining, and it made the snow twinkle in the morning twilight.

  But it would also be a hard day for one of the mothers. Lucy couldn't be certain how it would turn out, but her heart was heavy. In the back of her mind, she was almost certain she knew, but she wouldn't speak of it.

  The Shaman came to talk to her. His face was a mixture of wisdom and understanding. He was thin, and middle aged. His face was somber now. They spoke for some time and when Lucy turned around, Gloria was right behind her.

  "What did he say?" she asked.

  "You may see Peggy now." Lucy told her.

  "Thank God."

  "Gloria," Lucy threw up her hand to stop her from turning away. "No matter what happens you must accept Peggy's wishes. The chief and the Shaman were only concerned about the child. A child that age is impressed with only one thing, the love they have for you."

  "I will accept it. But, she's my child, and she'll chose to come home, I'm sure of it." Gloria raised her chin and shot them all a determined glance.

  Her husband didn't look as confident, but he didn't say anything.

  Lucy led the way and as everyone followed behind her, she raised a hand to stop them as they approached the teepee where Peggy was.

  "I must speak to Red Feather first." She told them. "And I must tell you, Gloria, if Peggy chooses to stay, there is nothing you can do. Do you understand?"

  Gloria raised her chin high, "Yes, but of course she won't."

  "She is but a child, a young child. She cannot possibly think through this situation. She will go by feelings alone on this."

  "I understand."

  "Good."

  Gloria waited with bated breath.

  It was nearly an hour before Lucy came out again.

  "Come, you may see your daughter now." Lucy told her.

  As Lucy and Gloria went inside the men waited outside.

  Peggy saw Gloria and called to her immediately, "Mama!" Her sweet voice echoed through the teepee. Her raven hair matched her mothers, she was short and so very cute, Lucy smiled at her. Her long dark hair was in a braid, and except for her pale skin, she looked almost like any other child in the village.

  "Peggy dear!" Gloria went to the child and hugged her. She was wearing a little deerskin dress with leggings and she looked precious. Lucy worried about how this would turn out. Was Gloria prepared for what might happen, she doubted it. Could any mother be prepared? On one hand she admired Gloria for being there, on the other, she remembered how she felt, that first feeling of abandonment hit her in the stomach now. It was as if she were reliving those moments with Peggy. But their cases were different. Gloria had come for her daughter, and obviously loved her dearly. Her parents had not come. And she remembered now, that when they never came, how her love grew for the Indians.

  Peggy went to the Indian woman sitting quietly on the floor of the teepee, watching. Peggy crawled up in her lap and sat down, then smiled at Gloria. She wrapped her little hands around Red Feather's neck and hugged her back but released her quickly to give her the chance to decide for herself where she wanted to belong.

  "This is Red Feather" Lucy announced. "she has cared for your daughter all this time."

  Gloria hardly gave the woman a glance.

  Holding her head up high as she watched her daughter crawl all over the woman and kiss her on the cheek. The action shocked Gloria, something inside her seem to chill, instantly. It was like turning off a lantern inside her.

  Gloria was stunned. How could her daughter go to this woman so easily? Hurt and anger stirred within Gloria.

  "Peggy darling, don't you want to go home with Mommy?"

  Peggy grabbed the Indian woman and hugged her tighter, then stared at her from the distance.

  Lucy didn't say a word. But she knew that Peggy had made her choice. She only hoped Gloria would accept it graciously.

  "Peggy?" Gloria called to her, the disappointment in her voice said everything. "Won't you come home with Mommy?"

  Peggy held the Indian woman and shook her head. She mumbled an Indian word.

  Gloria's mouth fell open as she glanced at Lucy. "What did she say?"

  "Mother, in Sioux."

  "Oh, dear God!"

  Lucy took Gloria's hand. "We must go now."

  Gloria's head came up and she stared into Lucy's eyes. "I can't. I must take her home, Lucy!"

  "She has chosen."

  "I can't leave her here." She looked at Lucy with pleading eyes.

  Gloria went over to Peggy and tried to pick her up in her arms, but Peggy wouldn’t turn loose of the woman.

  "She doesn't know any better, that's all. They can't honestly deny me just because of this… "

  Lucy again tried to pull her by the hand, but Gloria refused to budge.

  "She's been here over a month, she's learned to love them. She's only three, at that age, they must be loved every day. Red Feather has given her love to her, and Peggy kn
ows it, accepts it."

  "How could she?" The betrayal she felt was laced with her words. "How could she betray me like this?"

  "It isn't betrayal. It is more survival than anything, that and love. You see, a child does not understand being taken. She only understands love. Red Feather has given the love of her own child, to your child. It is a common practice among our peoples. When love is given freely, it is usually returned." Lucy told her.

  "But she's mine!"

  "No one save marriage belongs to another" Lucy insisted. "But I'm afraid she isn't any longer yours."

  "If you were in her place, would you choose them?"

  Lucy hung her head, and a tear escaped, "I was never in this place. I didn't have the choice. But… I must tell you, when I heard it would be Peggy's choice, I was afraid this might happen. You see, now I remember, after a while, you don't want to go home. Because you have found love again. A love you suddenly realize you won't lose. And that becomes more important than the one you may have already lost."

  "I can't leave her here," Gloria cried real tears now.

  "We must go. Gloria, she has made her choice."

  "I don't accept this."

  "Please, do not cause trouble. It could mean your life. It could mean all our lives."

  Tears fell down Gloria's face. "I love you Peggy, remember that. Please darling, remember that. Mommy loves you." Now she pulled Gloria out of the teepee.

  Peggy didn't cry for her or come toward her. Gloria was stunned, when she walked outside once more, and Peggy didn't even holler for her or come after her.

  She glanced back at the teepee.

  Frank looked at her, and came toward her, "Gloria?"

  "She— she didn't want me!" Gloria repeated the words to herself then stared into her husband's eyes. "It was like, she no longer knew me."

  "I'm so sorry, my dear." He told her and hugged her to him.

  "Frank," she pulled out of his arms and stared, "I can't leave her."

  Aiden came toward them, "She's made her choice, I'm afraid we will have to leave."

  "But it's not fair to let a child decide."

  Lucy put an arm around her and started walking her back to their teepee. "It is hard to accept, what we don't understand. But a child's sense of time is much different than ours. Peggy has known love from you and from Red Feather. A child her age can't tell time, but they know love."

  "But it's only been a little over a month… "

  "For her, a month is like a lifetime. It is simple now. She is loved."

  "But it's so wrong, she's white! She's my child! Won't she understand later, like you did, that she's white?"

  "Someday maybe she'll understand. I hope she does not."

  "How can you say that?"

  "Because unlike a breed, you can't walk in both worlds, Gloria. You chose one, and you have to remain. It is where you belong. She belongs here now, where she is loved and happy. A child responds to love and love only. She knows not of the taking. She only sees and feels the love. She accepts that love for without it, she has nothing but a gamble that her world will be alright."

  "But she's too little to make such a choice." Gloria cried. "What kind of life can they offer her?"

  "A good life, at least until she's grown."

  "Then what happens?"

  "Then she might seek you." Lucy smiled with understanding at her.

  Lucy turned to Aiden. "It would be best if we go now."

  Aiden nodded. He and Angus got the horses and brought them around. Gloria looked over her shoulder at the teepee where her child was, and tears streamed silently down her face. Lucy was sure she was in shock.

  Lucy climbed up behind Aiden once more, weary from the last two days of stress and strain.

  "It must have been pretty hard for her," Aiden remarked.

  "For Gloria, it was."

  After riding silently for a while Lucy hugged Aiden. "I begin to understand now, Aiden."

  "Understand, what?"

  "Peggy felt the love from Red Feather. Like I felt the love so long ago. It is when I became Indian, not white. I had no choice but to accept. Peggy had a choice, but she's so little, she too may someday regret it."

  "Do you regret giving into that love?"

  "No, I could never regret it, it was so freely given." Lucy sighed with contentment. "But since I'm grown, things have changed. Now I wonder about the small part of me that is white."

  "Lucy, are you still going back to the fort with me?"

  "I promised, I will go."

  "I've got an idea how to make it a little easier for you."

  "Oh, is that possible?"

  "I think so."

  "Then I will listen." She answered.

  "We'll talk about it later." He patted her hand slowly. "But no one has bothered thanking you for what you did back there. So, I will. Thanks, for all you did. Angus and I and Pumpkin are the only ones that know what you did for Gloria."

  "I did very little."

  "I think you must have done a lot. They weren't too happy to see us."

  "No, they weren't."

  "Where are your people camped?"

  "A few miles down the river." She told him.

  "Did you want to go see them?"

  "No!" she answered a bit abruptly. "I-I told them I would be gone a long time, but that I would return."

  "Good."

  Lucy went to sleep for a while as they rode.

  That evening when they made camp, her and Pumpkin prepared the meal for Gloria was too upset. Her husband did stay close to her now and tried his best to comfort her.

  Lucy and Pumpkin felt for her as only women could.

  Gloria didn't eat, and that night her husband wrapped her in his arms and held her close. "I'm so sorry darling."

  "Are you?" she asked.

  "Very much so." He assured her. "I guess I've learned a lot during this trip."

  "Oh Frank, I can't believe I was so close to getting her and had to walk away." Gloria cried. "Those were the hardest steps I've ever taken."

  "Perhaps, we can work on having another."

  "You'd be willing to do that?" She stared into his face. "For me."

  "Yes, I would." He told her. "I realized that perhaps I too have missed something. Your determination and love for Peggy has opened my eyes that not having children could mean I would miss something very special. Yes, perhaps we can."

  She kissed him solidly on the lips.

  Everyone went to sleep early. Angus and Pumpkin cuddled and laughed together. Gloria and Frank cuddled seriously for the first time.

  But since it was so cold, Aiden pulled Lucy into his covers and they kept each other warm.

  "Aiden, this could get to be quite a habit, you know." Lucy chuckled softly.

  "Yeah, I know. I'm getting mighty used to you warming my backside."

  "Goodnight Aiden," she laughed.

  "Goodnight Little One."

  He seemed a bit restless and just as she thought maybe he'd gone to sleep, he turned toward her and kissed her solidly on the lips. It was a soft warm kiss that said more than any words could. He looked at her as he pulled away. "Now maybe I can sleep."

  She smiled warmly.

  Chapter Nine

  The wind picked up and the cold was unbearable the next day. Aiden decided they would camp early; a blizzard was on its way and it would be best to find some shelter.

  Angus rode up beside Aiden and Lucy. "Looks like you got most of your furs traded for."

  "Yes, they were glad to get them. I was glad to quit hauling them around these hills."

  "We're going to head for the fort now, do you want to go with us?"

  "I'll talk it over with Pumpkin and let you know."

  "Fair enough." Aiden nodded. "Look, this weather isn't going to get much better for now, we'll camp early so we can make some shelter."

  "Good idea." Angus nodded.

  Lucy glanced around, "There's a cave not far from here Aiden, it would be warmer for everyone
there."

  "Just point the way." He smiled.

  The cave wasn't that obvious at first, there was a lot of brush around the entrance as though someone had been there and plugged it up purposely. Aiden and Angus had to clear it away to get inside. But the cave was deep and big and would hold all of them comfortably.

  Still almost in the middle of the cave was a definite hole where snow was drifting in from the roof of the cave. Angus saw it and grimaced. "Better find a way to plug that up." He muttered.

  "No, wait. We need it. It's there for a purpose Angus. Someone's been here before. Probably Indians. It was made a purpose for the smoke from the fire to escape. We'll reinforce it a little and build a track so air can get to the fire. We'll have to close the entrance off once we get everything inside."

  "Dang, I missed that completely." Angus shook his head. "You're right, and it probably was Indians, they know how to survive."

  "Yes, they do."

  Angus looked perplexed then it dawned on him, "How did you get so smart, boy?"

  "I lived with a fur trapper for years. He taught me a lot about how to survive, almost anywhere. We'll build the fire a little more toward the entrance but close enough that it will pull the smoke out. We might need to find a long branch or something to unplug when it stops up."

  "Good idea, I'll scout around outside and see what I can find."

  Aiden nodded, "Good."

  Aiden tended the horses, Angus brought wood for the fire and Pumpkin and Lucy brought the supplies they would need to prepare another meal. They brought everyone's blankets and packs off the horses. Angus found a thin branch that was long, and he told Aiden he'd carve it down so they could poke the hole every now and then. He also brought rocks in to put around the fire.

  "Save those rocks what you don't use, we'll need it for the little tunnel I'm gonna build."

  "Tunnel huh?" Angus scratched his chin, trying to figure it all out. "I ain't never done this, but then I ain't never camped in a cave for long either."

  "We could be here for days." Aiden told him. "And if we prepare for it, it will suit us fine."

  "It's already snowing," Angus informed them as he went inside to see if the girls got everything they would need.