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Cord hung his head. "Where's the kid now?"
"In school. I gotta be getting back soon. I just wanted you to know that some of us are glad you are home. I say some, because the ones that feel so guilty are having a hard time facing it."
"It doesn't matter; I probably won't be here long." Cord told her.
Her head shot up and the tear escaped down her cheek.
God, she's beautiful. But surely she didn't care whether he stayed or left. Did she?
"You look good Cord." She smiled. "You grew up to be the man I knew you would. I wish you'd stay, but with the Dubs boys here, maybe it is best you leave. Less trouble that way."
"You look good too Lilly. Really good!" His eyes met hers. "Bring Charlie to the funeral tomorrow. I'd like to meet him."
"Sure…" She got to her feet and headed for the door once more. "You know, your mother loved Charlie. Said he reminded her of you."
"I'd really like to meet him Lilly…. And thanks…" Cord whispered right behind her.
She whirled about and almost fell into his arms again he was so close. "For what?" She asked breathlessly.
"For the welcome…" He smiled sexily at her.
A slow, sad smile broke across her face, and it was like letting the sunshine in the dreary room. "See you tomorrow…"
He couldn't remember ever being effected by a woman's smile before. Some of the cold in Cord's heart began to melt. And a simple smile from Lilly melted it.
He nodded silently, unable to voice his feelings at the moment.
Chapter Three
Only a handful of people came to the funeral, but it was more than Cord expected. The few friends that came stood around talking to Cord and the doc for some time before the funeral began.
"Your Mama had it rough Cord, after you left." Mr. Perkins told him. "The town blamed her as much as you."
Mr. Perkins had been his Ma's neighbor for twenty-five years and his Ma set a great store by him and his family. A thin, tall man with thinning gray hair and a family of six, Perkins had always been a friend.
Joe Southerland, the banker was there, but Cord was sure he came to discuss the property with him.
Dutch Newsome the blacksmith came, he wasn't married, but he had known Cord's Ma for years. He'd been kind to his mother, Cord remembered that.
And then Lilly came, with her boy.
Some of the women folk stepped back and murmured, Cord frowned at them.
Cord walked straight up to her and helped her down from her buggy. He glanced at her son. Charlie had red-blond hair, and blue eyes.
"Cord, this is my son Charlie…" Lilly introduced them.
Cord extended his hand, "Charlie, I'm glad to know you."
Charlie took his hand and shook it like a man. "Mama says you’re her friend," Charlie looked up at him with the same expression in his eyes as his mother.
"I am." Cord nodded.
"Then you're my friend too." Charlie smiled.
Cord glanced at Lilly, "He's quite a young man, Lilly."
She smiled. "I knew the two of you would get along."
Some of the town's people seemed to frown when Lilly joined them at the gravesite. The Baptist preacher hadn't bothered to come, Cord noticed. A lot of the church members didn't show up. Cord wasn't surprised. Sometimes Cord had wondered exactly what they taught in church, it sure wasn't forgiveness, or loving thy neighbor.
"Lilly would you sing Amazing Grace?" Cord asked her.
Shocked at the request, Lilly was a bit flustered, but nodded to him.
"Of course…" Lilly was honored by the request. And tears swelled in her eyes. She'd often sang in the saloon, and everyone in town knew she had a beautiful voice.
Cord got his guitar and she began to sing. He took the song into his heart and felt a knot of tears stab him, but he played on, knowing how much his mother enjoyed music.
When it was over, he laid the guitar down and looked up into the small crowd of people.
Lilly knew what he was looking for. And a tear ran down her cheek when she realized he'd have to say a few words over his own mother.
But Cord was undaunted too.
"Lord," Cord began. "Today we bury a good woman, an honest woman, a woman who loved you and Jesus. She had a hard life, mostly because of me, I'm sure. But only you can judge the right and wrong of what was done. Kate McCall was a strong, courteous woman who followed her hard headed husband to this land to make a home. She had a hard life, but she never felt sorry for herself. She did as good as she could. So when you take her into your arms, Lord, remember that. God bless her soul." Cord finished as a tear escaped the corner of his eye.
"Amen," echoed as the undertaker shoveled the dirt upon her grave, Cord tossed a handful of dirt too.
Doc patted Cord on the shoulder. "I hope you'll consider staying Cord."
"Haven't got much of a grip on things yet Doc." Cord glanced at the grave.
"Well, keep in touch, no matter what you decide. There are people here that care…"
"Thanks." Cord nodded.
Everyone that came brought food, and the women set everyone up with a big plate of food as the men gathered about Cord to talk.
"Where you been boy?" Mr. Perkins asked.
"Fought in the war, then just drifted, mostly." Cord admitted, still affected by Lilly's beautiful song and voice.
He glanced at the grave and smiled.
"Did you fight north or south?"
Cord winced, "South…"
"It was a bloody damned war. I thank God it's over." Perkins muttered.
"Me too, Mr. Perkins." Cord nodded. "Me too!"
"You gonna take this place up, or move on?" Perkins continued to ask questions as though it were his business to ask. But Cord remembered that Perkins was a nosey fella and meant no harm.
"I'm not sure yet. I had plans to leave, but I'm thinking on it."
"Well, I'll help out with anything you need, if you decide to stay. Just let me know." Perkins moved toward the house now. "I owe your mother that much, she was a good neighbor all those years. She come and nursed a sick horse of mine one time. Stayed all night in our barn, talkin' to that horse and took care of it. Dead of winter too."
Cord looked surprised. "Ma was partial to horses."
"She could ride better than most men." Perkins told him.
"Thanks." Cord watched him go and smiled as the Doc came up to him. "He hasn’t changed a bit, has he?"
"No sir, not one bit." The Doc laughed.
Joe Southerland ambled up to him slowly, eyeing him keenly before ever saying a word.
"Cord, I didn't know if you'd be stopping by the bank or not, so I came out here to talk to you about your property. You know it is in your name, don't you?"
"In my name?" Cord twisted his head.
"Your mother changed it about a month ago. I think she must have had a premonition about her death. It's all legal, the land is yours. And since it's a sizeable ranch with plenty of water on it, it's quite valuable. A lot of folks are interested in it, if you aren't." He remarked.
It was plain the man opted for Cord moving on, but that made Cord rethink it. He had no roots. He had no place in mind to go from here. Maybe it was time he settled down. Only if he did, he'd have the people of this area to get along with. He'd have to think on that. He could sell it, and move on and find another town that was more friendly, or he could deal with the people here, as he knew most of them pretty well.
Only the people here, didn't know him very well. He'd been a boy when he left, now he was a man. And many things had gone under the bridge since then. Even he had to admit that he'd changed a lot.
However, Mr. Southerland was waiting for some kind of answer and he glanced at him with curiosity. "I'll let you know in a few days."
"Good enough." And the banker walked toward the house.
Lilly brought him a plate as he didn't seem anxious to join in with anyone in particular. Charlie followed her out to the porch where Cord was sitting on a ste
p.
"That was some beautiful singing." Cord smiled at her when she offered him the plate.
"Thanks I haven't sang in a while, I'll have to admit."
Lilly and Charlie sat beside him.
"Your Ma liked music didn't she?" Lilly smiled in reflection.
"She sure did. She was a toe-tapper in her day."
"I'm surprised you still play the guitar." Lilly said as she nibbled at her plate.
"That's kind of funny I guess." He glanced at them and smiled. "All during the war it was that silly guitar that comforted me. I'd get to feeling lonely, or missing Ma and I'd play. And when we had a really big amount of casualties, the music was the only thing that settled me out. I think it helped a few around me too." Cord remembered.
"You were awfully young to go to war, Cord."
"Maybe, but I wasn't the only one. There were a lot of kids in that war, and most of them were killed. I was just lucky."
"Did you see General Lee himself?" Charlie asked.
Cord smiled at him, "Once, at a distance. He was a sight to behold with that white hair, white beard, and white horse he rode. He was a fine figure of a man."
"What did you do after the war?" Lilly asked softly.
"Drifted mostly. Town to town. I guess I was kind of lost for a while. A war like that can tangle a man up inside."
But Cord's attention was drawn to the gravesite again when Pedro, his wife and three children paid their respects to his mother.
Cord stood up and walked over to them.
"Pedro Martinez?" Cord called from a short distance.
"Senior Cord!" Pedro smiled and walked to greet him with a big smile. "It is good to see you. You've grown into a man, that is good."
"And you my friend." Cord nodded to his wife and family. "There is plenty of food inside, you go on in and help yourself." Cord directed.
"No Senior it would not be right. We came only to pay our respects and see you, maybe…" Pedro insisted.
"Nonsense, you'll eat too and talk to me. I'd like to know how things are here." Cord told him.
"Very well…." Pedro followed him to the house.
When the people saw Pedro and his family they moved back from the table and became silent. Cord saw the displeasure in their faces and Cord's anger festered at their treatment. "Mexicans, Negroes, and people from different countries fought in the war, and died there. And you people have the gall to stand around staring. This is my home, and everyone is welcome here. Everyone! This is my house now and Pedro and his family are welcome any time. Now help yourself my friend."
"Si," Pedro and his family hurriedly dished up their food and went outside.
The Doc hadn't said much, but kept dishing his food up while Pedro's family did.
Cord stared at the crowd. "What's wrong with you people? Pedro was my mother's closest friend; he is welcome here."
"He's a Mexican! Just hired help." Mr. Southerland said.
"He's a friend, my friend. And you'll keep your mouths shut or you will all leave." Cord instructed. "No one has more right being here, than Pedro, and you all know it. It was him that helped my mother all those years and you'll treat him with respect."
Cord didn't realize that his eyes glazed over in anger.
Mr. Southerland put his plate down and walked out.
The others seemed to relax.
Cord walked outside where Lilly was talking to Pedro and his wife. Charlie had run off to play with Pedro's children. He smiled.
"Tell me Pedro, did Ma suffer much?" Cord asked as he joined them.
"No…not much."
"Were you there when she…"
"Si…"
"Did she say anything?"
Pedro put his plate down and looked at Cord, "Her wish was that you'd come home to stay. She never held out hope that you would come home…."
Cord looked down the steps and studied his words.
"Why'd she want me to come back here? She knew how it was!"
"She said you were a wandering star and that you had no home. But she hoped you'd call this place home, because it had been hers for so long. This place was all she had to give you…"
"She wanted me to stay here, knowing how people felt about me?" Cord frowned.
Pedro hung his head. "She said a man needs to grow roots, and the deeper he grows them, the better the man. She knew it would be hard for you, but this is the home she built for you. The home she wanted you to have."
"Never looked at it like that, I guess." Cord admitted.
"This place, is rich for cattle. You have water, and three hundred head of prime cattle waiting for you to take them over. I would help if you like."
"If I decide to stay, I'd like you to be a part of it Pedro. We could build a house for your family here…if I stay."
Pedro studied him a minute. His facial features smiled at him. "If you don't stay, what will happen?"
"I don't know yet…. I surely don't." Cord saw the distress in Pedro's wife's face and studied on that.
"Then I will wait until you do know." Pedro smiled once more and nodded. "For Maria and I care about you Cord, just like we cared about your mother."
"If I stay, I want to surround myself with people that care and love, not hate. I would want to make a real home for myself. Because…. I haven't had one in a very long time."
"Si…I can see it in your eyes. You should stay…"
Lilly stared at him. He could tell she wanted to ask questions, but she didn't. But she did reach out her hand to him and hold it for a long time.
He stared at their hands and looked up into her face. "Walk with me Lilly…"
"Sure… Charlie, don't run off now." Lilly instructed.
Charlie waved to her.
Chapter Four
There was a clearing Cord loved when he was younger, it overlooked the land and the small hills about. It was beautiful and that's where he stopped and found the big log he'd sat on so many years ago.
He had Lilly sit on the log, as he propped a booted heel on it and stared down into her perplexed face.
"Something on your mind, Cord?" She glanced up at his unreadable expression.
"Yeah, there is and I'm just wondering how to go about this. It's kind of a crazy idea I got and wanted to see what you thought about it." He moved about restlessly. "I don't know where to start, or how to."
"Just try, and maybe I can help along the way?"
"I got some ideas and well…you are part of those ideas. So I need to talk to you about them."
Lilly turned to stare into his face. "Sounds serious?"
"It is." He said and moved away, so he wasn't looking directly at her. Looking at Lilly did things to him that he didn't want to be affected by while he spoke.
"Lilly do you like running that saloon?"
"What?" She frowned.
"I said, do you like running that saloon?" He turned to look at her now, knowing he had shocked her to some extent.
"Like it?" She questioned.
"Yeah, do you enjoy running that saloon?"
She had her hands in her lap and she threw them up, in a gesture of question. "I never thought about it. I'm there, I run it. I've been there a long time. But I never considered whether I like it or not, but that it's my lot in life."
"What if it wasn't?" He asked, coming closer now.
"I've always sort of thought I must belong there." She gestured again with her hands, obviously puzzled by his question. "What are you getting at?"
"No you don't belong there, you never did. We both know that. You never belonged there and I told you so, years ago."
"I remember. But Cord, I had to make a living and I was only fifteen then. What else could I do?"
"What if you don't belong there at all, Lilly. What if you had a chance to be a wife and a mother."
Lilly squirmed a bit on the log and finally got up and paced about, nervously. "I am a mother."
"True, but you aren't a wife…what if you were?"
"I gave up a
long time ago on the idea of ever marrying." Lilly quipped and turned away from him.
He turned her around, holding her by the shoulders gently and looking into her eyes. "Marry me Lilly."
Her mouth fell open with shock. Obviously she hadn't expected him to blurt that out.
"Marry you?" She backed away a bit to stare into his eyes. "You're serious?"
"I've thought about it, all night long. And it's a perfect solution for both of us. I do need roots Lilly. I do need a home. But…staying here, alone, I don't want that. I've been alone most of my life. I want a family. And you've got one. You need a home too. I'd like to give it to you. Don't you see, we need each other."
"But Cord…"
"We've been friends all our lives. We get along well, don't we?" He asked.
"Well of course we do, but…"
"Don't let your foolish pride keep you from doing what would be good for both of us and for Charlie. I know I’m not doing this right. Hell, I've never asked a woman to marry me. But…If you marry me, I'll stay and ranch this place. I'll put my roots here. I'll be good to you and Charlie, I'll take care of you. You'll never have to work in a saloon again."
"But Cord…marriage is more than that…"
"I know. But we like each other, don't we?"
"Well yes…"
"Isn't that a start in the right direction? Oh…if you are worried about being intimate, we wouldn't have to be…not unless you wanted it. I wouldn't force myself on you, but I'm sure not opposed to it, as I really want a family."
Her face was full of questions.
Doubt clouded her beautiful eyes.
He brought her back to the log to sit down and looked at her intently. "I know this is sudden. And I know I'm not doing this right too, but it's because it's so sudden. I want to take care of you Lilly, you and Charlie. I want someone here to come home to when I've been out busting my butt to make a go of this place. I want someone who cares. You and Charlie can give me a reason to come in from a hard day's work. I can give you both a reason to stay…. We can be a family. A good family. And maybe in time…we might…come to have real feelings for one another. I don't expect it now, but in time…"